Treasuring...

...these last days with some of our very closest peeps on this planet...
Yeah, we've known for over a year that these days were coming, but honestly, it's been easier just not to think about it. Well we can't do that anymore, and so it's getting hard. Real hard. I find myself wondering what it's gonna be like at our big family gatherings without these 6 members. Not as BIG. And not as fun. Oh how I will miss Briley coming up to me every chance she gets and asking if she can spend the night at my house...and Brax overhearing and insisiting he come to...and then the popcorn, palette, arm tickles, and giggles that are sure to follow. Oh how fun Barron is...his big, wild spirit...and how he's started helping Jade find her way in the world here lately...I want her to grow up with him and be close to him always. I am going to miss watching Bristol grow up like I have these other 3 kiddos, almost daily. I worry I won't KNOW her as well...will she love her Aunt Dane Dane like they do? And Joey will be so far away...he, who has been so close every day of my life...my "biggest" brother... There's always been "3" of us hangin' together...now it's gonna be just me and Na for a while.It makes me sad to think he and Rich won't just get to sit and talk for hours like they so enjoy doing...they really love each other and value each other's thoughts. But the thought that I just still can't deal with----??? Sweet, sweet Court. Oh how dear you are to my heart...a real sister, it feels. You have been such a treasure in my life- so constant, so strong, so sweet to me. You kinda HOLD this group together, somehow. We talk every single day- sometimes about absolutely nothing...sometimes because I have a mommy questions or a marriage questions or a friend question...but it's YOU that I have found I go to (as do SO many others) when I just need help. You're honesty keeps me in check, but your gentleness always provides a soft place to fall. You have become, unknowingly, my standard for raising my own family...you have set the bar so high, and you make it looks so easy...and fun! What will I do without you close?...just MISS you, I guess!!!! :)

Oh these are the thoughts I am finally letting in...and as I do, tears flow out. These thoughts are so selfish I know, but they are true and real. I just love, love, love, love, love, love these 6 sweet faces so dearly. And I KNOW that God sees how special this family is, even more than I can...and that's why he picked THEM to love, love, love, love, love, love on people so far away. Because they WILL. Because they FOLLOWED Him, even to the "ends of the earth"...away from all the comforts they have come to love, too. I am inspired by them. I feel so lucky that I am so close to such great people, who God is going to USE. I pray that I can be MORE LIKE THEM, more obedient, more courageous, more LOVE-ing.

So as the days are flying by and we are down to just one more week, I am TREASURING my time with Joe and Court and Bri and Brax and Bear and Bristol...and I am thankful, in advance, for these lasting memories we will STILL make together!