20 months...

Yesterday, my favorite girl was 20 months old. 20 months. Wow. When I say that number, it seems like time is flying by...but as I laid in bed last night, I had the warmest feeling inside as I realized I have spent every single day, almost every single minute of 20 months with this girl. I feel so thankful that I have been able to stay home with her and watch her grow. I haven't missed a day of it...and though it does seem to have moved a bit fast- I do remember it all. I was there with her...and I wouldn't trade this job for anything in the world! She is, as I tell her all the time, "biggity bigs"...every single day she wakes up and is smarter, has more to say, thinks harder...and loves me and her daddy more. I have said it countless times, I know, but she just brings me so much JOY!

And it was so sweet last night, on her twenty-month "birthday" :), to have two of her sweetest faces in this world come to our house for dinner, read her books in her room, sing sweet lullabies to her...


...it made her so happy at the end of her day. Joe and Greta- you have loved her so much during these 20 months and have been able to watch her grown with me... and I know she will love you both always!

One year ago, when my baby was this old...


...I posted the following poem. It is so true for each and every mother, I know...and is especially true for me today. I pray the next twenty months will be as sweet as these first twenty, and I know that before I blink these months will turn into years and my baby will turn twenty years old. Until then, I will hold her as long as I can and savor each day with her...because, as we all know too well, babies don't keep.

Song For A Fifth Child

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.


~Ruth Hulburt Hamilton (1958)

To my Shaelyn Jade:
Sweet girl, some day I hope you will read here where I try to record our days together and understand the happiness you brought me during these precious days of my life. You have given me joy that I never even dreamed of, and my role as your mama each day is the greatest way I could ever spend my time. The other night as we "bocked" (ie: rocked...),I whispered in your ear about the day you were born and your big, brown eyes looked up at me like you understood. I told you that I loved you from the INSTANT I saw you, like a miracle...and it's true. It was love at first sight, the very best day of my life. These past 20 months have been full of challenges for me as I have tried to settle into this mommy role, but you have made it so much easier and so fun for me. You are my Jadeybug. You have changed over these past few months from a chubby little lady to a lean little girl...you love baby dolls most of all, you're still totally unintrested in movies (even at the end of long days when I wish you weren't! :)), you talk 90 miles a minute, all day long...you love to eat fruits and veggies (I'm afraid you may actually turn into a blueberry!), you love to pray (even when we're not eating meals), and you ask you daddy to "MING" you by your ankles every single day...which he usually does, even if you have just eaten a huge dinner! We're not sure where it came from, but from the first time I said to you, "Jade- I love you", you instantly replied (and have every time since) "Nooooooo", in a tone that begs, "tell me again!" :) It melts your Daddy's heart. You are the apple of his eye and we have grown so close to each other since we both fell in love with you...You still love your mama more than anything else...and every single night as your eyes get tired you ask for your "BA BA" (passy), "bank-ek" (blanket), and "mama bock". When we get all settled in the rocking chair in the dark I hear you snap that passy out of your mouth, almost like clockwork, and ask in the sweetest voice I have ever heard, "Nong?"...I whisper, "Which song, Jade?" And almost always, you ask for the song that I sang to you the first night you were born (and a thousand times since) "GEEEE"...

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus...
There's just something about that name.
Master, Savior, Jesus,
Like the fragrance after the rain.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus...
Let all heaven and earth proclaim,
Kings and kingdoms may all pass away
But there's something about that name.

It has been my prayer for you, each day of this 20 months, that God would endow you with wisdom and a steadfast heart for Him alone. Nothing will bring me more joy that to watch you come to know and love your Savior, "Geee", who loves you even more than I do. Sweet girl, I can't wait for the next 20...

With all my love,
Mama