Monday, June 21, 2010

Talking With God

Ever have one of those days where you just feel like the entire day is a continual conversation with God? Well, honestly, that is rare for me. I kinda stuggle with being a "good prayer" most of the time...but today was one of those blessed days for me. As my Ethiopia trip draws nearer, I find myself thinking lots about it. I just remember how much my first mission trip changed me. So much of who I am today was "born" on that trip. And I can't help but realize that this trip will be the same way...that in a few short weeks I will, no doubt, be different than I am today. Rich and I have started talking a lot about the things I will see---the children I will meet...and the things that God may call me to as a result of these things. On Saturday night we sat on our back patio and talked about how our responsibility to ACT changes once we have actually SEEN the way things are in other places. Until you actually GO, you can only imagine...and the imagination does not give justice to the injustices of poverty and hunger and AIDS and orphans. But once you have been there...once you have those little faces seared into your mind's eye, you can't go back to just imagining. You KNOW those faces. So today, as I cleaned my bathrooms, God and I talked a lot about this trip. It was so peaceful and easy, and I know it was Him. He is preparing me. And I prayed (and would appreciate if you'd pray, as well) that He would show me the things He wants me to see...and then show me how He is calling me to ACT upon these things. And I told him today that my "yes" is on the table already(as my sweet friend, Diane, always says)...and I mean it! As I look back over the past couple years, it is so clear that God has been pruning me and peeling layers away so that I am now ready to follow wherever He Ethiopia...and beyond. The people that will change me are somewhere out there, already, tonight...and I do not yet know them. That thought is kinda crazy to me. But God is orchestrating the lives of 24 of us to go to those people and HELP them. I am one of them. He called me. I am so thankful.

Rich read me a very challenging quote on Saturday night, from this book, that I can't quite shake...
"Sometimes I would like to ask God why he allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it."
"Well, why don't you ask Him?"
"Because I'm afraid He would ask me the same question."

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